Questions Answered and Unanswered

Fourth-year theology and philosophy student Ruth Chan shares a reflection on how God has shaped her during her education.
Fourth-year theology and philosophy student Ruth Chan shares a reflection on how God has shaped her during her education.

The following is a written version of a testimony shared by fourth year student Ruth Chan at Redeemer’s chapel service on April 11, 2018.


I was asked to share about how God used this school to shape me as a person. I love Redeemer. And God has used this time and place to form me in ways I cannot express, perhaps in ways I do not even know. But, here are two ways that I do know God has used this school in my life.

When I first stepped into Redeemer, I believed in God. I did. But I also didn’t. If you know me, you know that I’m a thinker. I’ve always been. And as I was entering into my first year, I was no longer able to reconcile my intellect with my faith.

I had so many questions, and I hadn’t been surrounded by people who thought deeply about Christianity, about why we believe in God. I thought that I couldn’t possibly know truth if I wasn’t “objective,” if I didn’t know everything about science, philosophy and the world’s religions. My heart and my mind were turned against one another.

So I came to Redeemer, mostly looking for answers. To know that this faith is more than just faith — that there’s knowledge too. I found answers. Some, at least. Through the classroom, conversations with professors, friends and mentors. But as often as I found answers, I also discovered that there was a lot that we don’t know. That I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know everything in order to hold this faith firmly. And what I do need to know, God will provide.

So here I am, almost with a completed Bachelor of Arts, a major in theology and a minor in philosophy. And I studied these out of necessity, more than interest (though, interest came later). I’ve loved these classes. I’ve loved learning, and I’ve found that the more I’ve studied, the richer my worship has become. And I’m so grateful. I’m thankful for the gift of a Christian education, of answers to questions and peace for unanswered questions.

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Beth Van Lingen
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